When you meet your perfect partner, your world will open up. Flowers will bloom in more vibrant colors and have their sweet fragrance. Everywhere you look there will be a new sun rising to warm your face. The air will touch your skin with a new radiance. Every day will be a fresh start because you are in love.
When you first meet someone, and you believe that person is the perfect one for you everything puts a smile on your face and warms your heart. As time moves forward, you learn what character the other person is. You get to know who that person is inside and you grow together, or you grow apart.
When you date each other, it is for you to decide if you are compatible. Not everyone, male and female have a gracious, kind character. Mr. Perfect never learned how to treat others with respect. They manipulate you and turn situations around to make it all your problem.
You have been dating for three months when he decides to take you to his annual Christmas party. You have been seeing each other exclusively 3-4 times a week, and he is such a kind person. He calls you randomly during the day just to talk. He is a gentleman when he opens your doors for you.
The big night comes, and your tummy is a bit queasy. What if his co-workers don’t like you? What if they have met his other girlfriends? What if you don’t stand a chance against the beauty queens he has dated before? You know that all of these thoughts are silly, but you also know this is how women think sometimes.
You bought a new dress just for this exciting night out with Mr. Wonderful. Perfect velvet little black dress that shows off all of your curves and makes you feel sexy. When you get to the dinner, he introduces you to a few people, but he starts getting quite weird.
He walks in front of you instead of beside you. He stops opening doors for you. As the evening progresses, he acts like you are not even in the room. The more he drinks, the louder he becomes and begins to tell you (in front of everyone) about the little quirks he doesn’t like about you. You are so confused and embarrassed.
What happened to Mr. Wonderful? Why has he changed? Maybe it is something you have said or done.
It is not you! It is his lack of respect for you. A person who respects you will show others how much he values you. He will include you in his world. He will speak kind words when he talks to you and responds to you.
You don’t want him to treat with contempt. You are looking for contentment, peace and the type of love that will carry you through 60 years of marriage. The kind of partner who believes you are and treats you as if you are the most important part of his life.
Don’t wait until you have been dating or married to this selfish person for years before you realize he is not for you. Date him, get to know him, see who he is in many different situations.
You will feel yourself grow together or grow apart if you give a relationship time. But most of all value who you are and respect who you are. Be good to you, and you will recognize when another is treating you with contempt.
Disclosure: I use the term “he” in this post. I believe this does pertain to males and females. It is not a gender problem but a respect issue.