Do you know what it is to be in a bubble? None of us know how it feels. But I will try to explain the suffocating sensation of a bubble.
A person who is claustrophobic will understand this the best. Just imagine that you found yourself trapped in an elevator all alone. An elevator stopped to pick you up, but it had ten people on it. You knew you could not be in that enclosed space with ten people. So you decided to take the next one. Your emotion of relief swept over you when you walked onto the second elevator all by yourself. Awww, all alone was a much better way to travel up in an elevator.
You hear the clunking and feel the elevator come to a lurching stop. You hold your breath, but the doors don’t open. Your thoughts race, you should be okay in this elevator, you are all alone. You feel closed in by the walls. The spinning begins, and you feel out of control. Your breathing becomes raspy and rapid even though the fresh air is still coming from the vent in the ceiling. You are sweating profusely.
Maybe you will just pass out, or maybe you will die from lack of air. You desperately try to calm yourself to no avail when the doors open, and you are on the ground floor. The elevator never did go up. You were on the bottom level the whole time.
When you have placed yourself in a bubble away from the world, it feels just like this. You try to rationalize the situation. You know your thinking is defensive. You know you don’t have a reason for the fear or the excuses you make for yourself.
None of this matters when you are looking from inside the bubble. You keep everything that has happened to you and everything you have done held tight to your chest. Hopefully, no one will see it. But you feel transparent and believe people can see right through you.
No one can see through you. Not a single soul knows what you have been through in your life. You think they can so you believe they are judging you for all of it. The reality of the situation is, most people are not judging you. You are judging yourself.
Look at it this way; you have isolated yourself out of fear. The fear that everyone will know what has happened to you and will not accept you for who you are. You hide away feeling like the world is watching you.
It doesn’t matter what it is that has happened to you. Most of us have a secret we want to hide. You think that secret is so dark you believe you are not OK.
If you release that secret and step out of your bubble, you will forgive yourself. You are the one judging yourself because you are not able to free yourself from your ruling sentence.
We judge ourselves so harshly that we believe the world is doing the same thing. I believe the only way to stop this is to let go of the agonizing worry you have placed on yourself and take a deep breath. When you do this, you will see the world as a more accepting place.
There will be a few who want to keep you in that bubble of judgment. Those people are not important in your life. Focus on those who support you and want to be your friend. Concentrate on the positive and push through to the freedom that is in store for you.