Overcome Emotional Abuse in 6 steps

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Are you facing or have gone through a situation in your life that is a grave injustice? Have you been debilitated by fear and need the motivation to become brave and courageous? In this article, I will give you suggestions to help you overcome emotional abuse in 6 steps.

My husband and I recently traveled by car to New Orleans to see the city. Our trip was a wonderful time away from the rat race of life. Everyone should visit the French Quarters at least once in their lifetime.

When we were driving the very long road home, this poem poured out of my soul. You can apply these words to many different types of emotional pain such as relationship abuse, childhood abuse, bullying, racial hatred or any number of injustices in life. That is the beauty of poetry. It can mean something different to each person who reads it.

Is there injustice in your life?

Have you fallen prey to injustices in your life? I bet that almost every one of you has faced some hardship and need to overcome emotional abuse like some form of horrendous hatred or an insult to who you are.

I know this will be a difficult request but please take a look at the situation in your mind right now and feel the memory of the pain once again. Only briefly go back in time in your mind. Now think of the moment when you decided you were not going to be the victim anymore. The split second when you realized your life was too precious to allow any of these injustices to consume and control you.

Maybe it is not a memory, but you are going through this horrible pain right now. Think about it and how you want to break away from whatever pain someone has pushed on you. Imagine the feeling of how liberating it will be not to wake each morning to see this pain in front of you. Think of the freedom to empower your life and be set free.

How did that feel? Probably invigorating but very quickly followed by a fear that consumed you. Your mind formed a plan to overcome emotional abuse, but your body was horrified and could not move.

a girl in a corner with a lamp looking afraid

Now if you are one of these people who are still in a situation such of this and reading this, it is time to have the hope of a better way of life and allow the fear to move you forward. Make a plan for your safety then move forward out of your fear into the security of a new situation.

Does fear paralyze you? 

Fear can be healthy to a point because it will protect you from harm. But fear can also debilitate you and keep you from following through with the plan you have placed in motion.

The emotion of fear is known to all of us in varying degrees. But each of us has that moment when the adrenalin pumps through your body, your heart rate increases, your body heats up, and your feet feel the need to take flight and run.

You know what I mean — the fight or flight mechanism of your body that paralyzes you and turns you to ice. You feel frozen in time, but your feet start to move and take you away from the fear.

You have seen other people get to safety or not allow others to treat them wrong, but you have never thought you were brave enough to deal with all of the injustice. You feel like you are looking out of a window at others who are happy and safe, but your door to safety is nailed shut. You feel stuck in a world by yourself.

As I said, earlier the injustice can be abuse, bullying, prejudice, social rejection, addiction or any number of afflictions. If you have an experience, you would like to add, please leave a comment below.

Overcome emotional abuse in 6 steps

I can sit here and tell you to make yourself get away, but I know that is not possible. What I can do is suggest how you can overcome emotional abuse in 6 steps for you to build your strength and be brave.

1. Acknowledge that you are in a bad situation
2. Elicit the help of others to plan a way for you to be safe
3. Find an alternative route in life, so you do not have to be exposed to the ones causing injustice
4. Stand up tall, set your shoulders back
5. Follow through with the plan you and your helpers have devised
6. Continue to get counseling to heal your mind from the manipulation that changed your life

Examples 

The best example I can give you is relationship abuse because I have experienced this.

1. So many men and women deny that they are in an unsafe situation. When you are in this state, you can not set a plan. So first realize you are not safe.girl jumping a gorge, strong, courageous and brave2. After this acceptance, you will want to get the help of professionals like shelters, counselors

and/or police. Professionals can see your situation objectively when you can not. They will help you set a reasonable plan for escape and provide safety.
3. You do not want to run into the person abusing you and take the chance of fear paralyzing you so make sure you are not traveling the same areas he/she are.
4. When you have done steps 1-3 you will have doubts that you are making the right decision. Now is when I tell you to square your shoulders back, stand tall and be strong.
5. Keep moving forward. Don’t stop now. You have almost reached freedom.
6. It took you a long time to decide to be safe and healthy so it will take time to relearn that you are worthy of self-love and respect.

You can take this example and apply it to any situation of injustice to become safe and healthy.

You are strong, courageous and brave

You are strong and courageous. You are bold and brave. No one has the right to cause you pain or belittle you. From this moment forward I know you will walk, you will run, you will live. You have this life to cherish and live in freedom. Do not let the icy breath of another force you or control you.

I do love comments. Your input with experiences or suggestions may help someone in need gain courage to overcome emotional abuse. I am here for you in any way I can and will be back with you very shortly.

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14 thoughts on “Overcome Emotional Abuse in 6 steps”

  1. What a powerful poem, thank you for sharing and thank you for having the passion to help people who have been abused in anyway to heal,overcome and move on.

    I am blessed for not having to experience emotional abuse in any form but I can definitely relate. I have a cousin, her name’s Maria, who has been sexually abused repeatedly by their stepfather when she was only 16, while her mom (my mom’s youngest sister) was working abroad. She kept this to herself for almost a year thinking it would eventually stop. But for fear that their stepdad might also abuse her younger sister, she came to me for help.

    We then filed a complaint and through all those times I stayed by her side. I knew that Maria needed somebody especially  during the trial and even after her stepdad was given life sentence. I repeatedly assured her that what happened to her wasn’t her fault. However, the damage done was more serious than anybody else realized, I saw it and I felt it. I thought Maria was relieved that it’s all been over but that was not the case. Shortly after, she started having relationships with older men; men who were old enough to be her father. 

    I did suggest for her to undergo counseling but she refused. Maria finally settled down a year after her stepdad died in prison due to severe depression.

    • Alice this is a hard story for you to retell. Remember that without you by her side she would not have had anyone who supported her. She may be seeking older men because as sick as it sounds she feels love by older men like her step-dad. The emotional abuse that she encountered along with the sexual abuse will stay with her forever. We can only pray that she will ask for further help to work through this and realize she is not to blame for the actions of her step-father. 

      Your story breaks my heart and I cry out for the innocent who are victims of such sick people. If at all possible please be there when she returns and once again needs you. 

  2. thank you sharing to get encourage to all the who has Emotional Abuse…In our life there are many unfair things  that include emotional abuse,but we also have to courageously face difficulties and fears.Otherwise, we will not be able to walk this ‘ shadow’..In my experience, like the one-parent family .. i have never had a father since i was a child… my mother always have to work and ignore me… but  i have friends to support me….so i  to be brave…. 

    You are strong, courageous and brave

    You are strong and courageous. You are bold and brave. No one has the right to cause you pain or belittle you. From this moment forward I know you will walk, you will run, you will live. You have this life to cherish and live in freedom. Do not let the icy breath of another force you or control you

    • Loon, You brought tears to my eyes. You faced emotional abuse and have come out on top. You are brave, courageous and strong. These words you wrote from my post, please take these with you and always remember, never allow another control who you are. 

  3. I used to be paralysed by fear but now I have learnt to control my fear and make it a strength. I imagine I am a dragon floating in the sky above my body, observing myself.

    By utilising this type of detachment I am free to control my emotions because I pretend I am watching myself from the eye of the dragon.

    I like how you said to find an alternative route to others in terms of separating yourself from abuse. I run in the opposite direction when people enter my life that I do not like. I only associate myself with good people now.

    When you say “heal your mind from the manipulation that changed your life” this rings a bell in my past life. This is really important to do in my opinion, healing in VERY important.

    Thank-you for a very informative blog post Laura. I’ll be back!

    • David, the image of a dragon in the sky looking down is a form of disassociation. In my opinion this is your way of healing your mind from the manipulation. You found a way to cope and you have stood strong. This is an incredible sign of bravery. 

      Yes you have to surround yourself with positive good people. There is no room for bad, angry and hurtful people in your life. So many will turn to hurtful people after abuse because it is comfortable even when it causes pain. You are healing. 

      Thank you David for reading and commenting. Your comment may change the life of someone in need. 

  4. I will agree with you being abused or living in fear. This should not happen to anyone.  Fear can be emotionally  draining. It is sad that hose who live in fear have to be afraid of being abused by people who are supposed protect them  I think they end up becoming our  biggest abusers. I believe this article gives us insight on how to avoid people like this and how to get help.  

    • Charles with your comment it sounds like you do understand this type of emotional abuse in some form. Keep your self safe and ask for help to work through it. Thank you for stopping by, taking the time to read and commenting. 

  5. My daughter was in an abusive situation a few years ago, and it was one that lasted 9 years.  She lived a couple hours away from us, and it was difficult for us to help her because her confidence and self-esteem had been drive into the ground, and she felt ashamed to let anyone know what she was dealing with.

    That all changed after she had her son.  Within the first year of his life, she realized that she couldn’t let him grow up in that situation and reached out for us to help.  They came to live with us for a couple of years, and now she has a wonderful job, her own home, and a thriving 6 year old boy who is the light of all our lives.  She still struggles with self-esteem issues, but it’s getting better all the time.  I encourage anyone who is in a bad situation to look at your 6 steps and make the decision to get out of it now–don’t wait!

    • I bet it broke your heart to sit by and watch this. Your daughter is very strong for getting away from this abuser. And she is very fortunate to have you to help her. 

      Some of this abuse will always stay with her but with help and time she will continue to build her self-confidence. 

      Thank you Janelle

  6. Thank you for sharing with us this wonderful article on how to overcome emotional abuse in 6 steps.

    I am meeting hurting situations these days and in past days I need to apply those helpful steps to heal my soul and heart because I feel pain inside.

    I am happy that I found such post I found my doctor without moving around.

    • Julienne, And I am so happy to help. As you know 6 steps sounds like an easy fix. But you know it takes work and healing to overcome this. You are strong and will make it through these difficult times. Be brave and courageous. 

  7. I honestly think that this is a great article Laura. I think that we all pass through emotional abuse everyday and that there is no human who did not suffered from this. I like your tips about how to solve this problem and I will surely implement them to improve my daily life. I would also recommend this topic to those people who suffer from depression.

    • Yes Daniel, everyday many in this world are abused in so many ways. And again yes I believe it will be helpful for someone who is depressed. Thank you for your grasp and understanding of what I am saying to help others. 

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