Scroll to the bottom to join our
Private Facebook Group.
Why is it that people don’t speak their mind or rather the truth? I do understand that carrying this too far can appear to be rude. But when people talk, they seem to speak in riddles of lies-What is your greatest fear of the truth?
I have always been straightforward. At times I do intimidate others, but it is not my intention. I have learned as I have matured how to temper my speech a bit and not speak in riddles of lies. The truth or a definite answer can be a difficult thing for others to hear. I had to find out my greatest fear of telling the truth and then learn to temper the truth with kindness and respect.
Truth In Kindness Goes A Long Way
There are ways to tell the truth without getting in someone’s face or tearing down their self-esteem. But at the same time, convey your thoughts without another person needing to guess what the intended message is. When you speak the truth and communicate clearly, it leaves very little room for misinterpretation.
Have you ever noticed that when some people ask a question, they don’t want to listen to the real answer? They ask the question is to validate what they were thinking. They want you to give an answer that validates their thought process.
Speaking In Riddles Of Lies
Or a person may speak in riddles of lies when they ask a question. Instead of making a statement, they ask a question to prove they are right. They want you to come to the same conclusion they have. And if you don’t answer what they want to hear, they repeatedly rephrase the question until you come up with the “correct answer” according to what they think.
Or maybe you have noticed that there is one person in the crowd who timidly agrees with everything others say. They don’t want to cause problems, so they don’t speak the truth. What is your fear? Do you fear to anger, confrontation, or maybe not being liked?
Were you raised to believe you are not good enough to voice your opinion? Maybe you had overbearing parents who were always right or brothers and sisters who never let you speak.
What Is Your Greatest Fear Of The Truth?
So why don’t people speak the truth? Why do they speak in riddles of lies? I have a few ideas here that will clear up this question. These ideas may help you find out what is your greatest fear of communication.
- Fear of anger-Angry people will attempt to engage you to transfer their anger to you. If they talk in circles, riddles of lies, they have the opportunity to pinpoint you and draw you into an argument.
- A need to be liked. Low self-esteem may prevent someone from speaking out. You want to make everyone happy. When you speak your mind, you feel guilty, so you speak in riddles of lies. You may not feel you have the right to speak the truth, or shall we say speak your mind. If you were treated poorly and abused, you may think you are not worthy to speak the truth. What is your greatest fear? Is it that you don’t want others to become angry with you, so you stay in the background and agree with everyone.
- Fear of confrontation-If you confront a problem head-on or make a comment that may upset others, you get fear in your heart. Riddles of lies-what is your greatest fear? Is it that you don’t want to make anyone upset or appear to stand out?
- Fear of punishment-Maybe when you were small, your parents didn’t allow to speak your mind. As you grew up, you believed that giving expected answers would keep you out of trouble and keep the peace. Your parents taught you if you tell the truth, it was not accepted. You were always in trouble when you stated a fact. So instead, you practice telling others what they want to hear.
It could be any number of reasons that people speak in riddles of lies. But when you don’t communicate well, it can cause more heartache than the truth. Poor communication can be misinterpreted and cause more damage. Facing your fears can liberate you.
You can say what is on your mind and still have others think highly of you without speaking in riddles of lies. It is essential to be respectful and kind while giving a direct answer.
Overcoming your fear
- Do not engage with an angry person. When someone is questioning you to draw you in, they speak in riddles of lies and do not respond. Think just a brief minute about “what is your greatest fear of the truth?” Do you fear anger or not being liked. Then walk away and do not allow them to transfer their anger to you. Learn to answer without confrontation. You can answer any question or statement without pointing out the faults of another person. When you speak the truth, you do not have to direct it personally to a person’s problem. You can answer directly with a broad statement and show them respect.
- You are not in trouble-You are an adult who responds with the truth. It is not going to get you in trouble. Now, if you are rude and disrespectful, then yes, you may harm yourself. But if you are kind and stating the facts, you will come out ahead.
- Speak with authority-You are just as good as anyone else in the room. You have every right to speak your thoughts. If someone treats you poorly, then you may be hanging around with the wrong people. Don’t let someone else destroy your self-esteem.
Samples Of Direct Answers
- Someone asks-“why don’t you like me?” Your answer doesn’t have to be, “but I do like you” because this may feed into what is your greatest fear. Maybe your greatest fear is to not anger someone or not confront them. Instead, you can speak the truth if you don’t care for them. You can say, “It’s not that I don’t like you but rather that we are different people and have different morals and beliefs.” Maybe you don’t like them, but there is a reason, and it doesn’t have to be that they are at fault. Think about, what is your greatest fear and speak the truth.
- Someone asks, “Was so and so talking about me?” Instead of saying “no,” which may be a direct lie, you can say, “Yes, they were, but I am not one to pass on things others say.” Then this person can not put you in the middle of a problematic situation.
Make sure you state the truth and do it in a kind and respectful manner.
Practice Direct Truthful Answers
Just one last thing before I go. To give a direct answer is different than telling someone off or telling another how you feel about them. Words spoken in riddles of lies are not kind or respectful, and the result will only lead to further problems.
Self-reflection and asking yourself, “what is your greatest fear?” will help you see a clear path to good communication.
When someone asks you a question, I encourage you to practice direct answers. The truth can be liberating and build your self-esteem. You won’t have to wonder if someone understands you or took your answer wrong.
What would this world be like if we all spoke the truth without malice or evil intent? What would it be like if we left out the riddles of lies? Would communication between individuals and countries improve? What are your thoughts on this?