I love change! I embrace change! Well, that’s what I have always said. It is true to an extent until I actually have to change who I am inside. The moment I realize change is what I need, I begin to examine why is change so important? Why me, and why am I so afraid of change?
If I stay the way I am, it is comfortable. It is who I am. Change causes examination and upheaval in my life. I start to believe something must be wrong with me, or I wouldn’t have to change.
Is there something wrong when a person needs to change? Or is change inevitable, as we have all heard so many times?
What Is Personal Growth Change?
There are many ways we can make changes in our lives, such as in a relationship (marriage) or the workspace. The change we are referring to here is Personal Growth Change?
We are each shaped by our experiences. And these life experiences will change us. If a person had a difficult childhood, it would shape them as they grow. It changes who they are and how they perceive the world.
The experience can give strength or cause fear. Regardless of how it shapes us as we grow, we will have to look at our lives and make changes to survive and thrive in our world today.
Change is not all outward, but this kind of change is an inward personal type of adjustment we choose to make. It is constant if we want to overcome our past and heal.
My Analogy Of Change
I was an abused child and grew into adulthood to choose an abusive husband. Not just abusive but a sociopath to boot. Because of this, I was affected and have had to work through many life situations. Sometimes I changed, and other times I was too afraid.
I look at change as a choice that holds different consequences. Change is hard and can be positive or negative.
Because I was raised on a farm, I knew about cows and milking. When we milked a cow, we put the milk in a galvanized bucket. As the milk sat, the cream would come to the top. We would skim it off and make delicious butter.
The milk would continue to sit, and more cream would come to the top. But it took time for this process to take place.
I look at change like this. We go through hard times. These situations sit in us, and in time problems arise. As they come to the surface, we can choose to work on them and change or throw the situation out the door and do nothing.
When I chose to work on my issues, I was making delicious butter. But when I was too afraid to change, I allowed the cream to sour and cause more issues in my life.
Does Change Mean Something Is Wrong?
Every time I realized the cream had surfaced, I thought something must be wrong with me. If I have to change, then it must not be good. If I were OK, then I would not have to change. This is a fallacy. Change is personal growth and takes place in every walk of our lives.
There is change in nature all the time. The rain and wind cleanse our earth. The sun dries the land and makes things grow. These are all changes.
We are no different when it comes to personal change. If I chose not to change, I would carry bitterness and unforgiveness along with me every day. My relationships would suffer. I would fall behind the times and probably not hold down a job.
So you see, there isn’t anything wrong with me because change is a good thing. Change is constant in everything and everyone.
Why Is Change Important?
Change allows us to move forward and heal. For us to reach our full potential, we have to allow change to take place. We have to choose to work on issues that arise.
Change gives us strength and allows new opportunities to grace us. It can help us make better decisions and find new ways to face challenges.
But most of all, when we allow change, we are learning how to overcome fear. The same fear that is keeping us stagnant and holding us back.
What would have happened if a child of 5 was given a drug to stop his growth. He would be 3-4 ft tall his whole life. His growth was intentionally stunted, just as our growth comes to a halt when we choose not to change.
Why Am I So Afraid To change?
I have control over my life, but when I am faced with a need to change, I fear the loss of control. What if I can’t control how much I change or how far I go?
I fear the unknown. I know I need to change, but what if that change makes me someone else or turns me into a different person?
I like to be comfortable in my space. If I allow change, I have to step outside of my comfort zone. Fear and anxiety overtake many when they think about doing something they haven’t done before.
What if I try to change and I can’t do it. What if I am a failure. Or what if I am a success and that isn’t who I like?
These are 4 reasons to fear change. The most important thing to remember is we are always in control of ourselves if we choose to be. We have the ability to change as much as we want to. No one can make another person go further in their personal growth without their internal permission.
Unless a person has metathesiophobia, they step outside of their comfort zone many times a day. So why fear being uncomfortable when you have control over how far you go?
There is no failure or success in personal growth change. It’s not about how good or bad we are. It is all about how we choose to lead our lives and move forward.
Change is important for our personal growth, healing and happiness. If we want to move forward and learn, it is necessary to allow changes in our lives. The reason a person needs to change is not the issue here. Change comes to all.
There is nothing wrong with the person who needs to change. Change is a constant and a positive thing in our lives.
We can have full control over how much or how little we change. There is no success or failure in change. And to step outside of a comfort zone to change is taking control of our destiny.
Anyone can change. It does take work, but that work will pay off in the end.