Why Why Why- Is My Life So Hard

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WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do we all have to endure pain and hardships in life? Why is my life so hard?

green background poem why

There are many different takes on this question. And many different ways for you to deal with the hard times. Let’s talk about a few here today.

Why Why Why-Is My Life So Hard?

The Hard Core Reasons

That is just life, and you will have to endure it. Many people may say this to your face when you are in the midst of a hardcore part of life. And to a point, this is true.

But for me, when my life has been in the dumps at various times, this statement was not enough. I had to have more to hang onto than “just endure it or suck it up.”

The Psychological Reasons

You made the wrong choices that led to your downfall. It is time to look at the situation to find your mistakes and change them. Do not make the same mistake twice.

Don’t marry the wrong man. Don’t be the child of crazy parents. Don’t work for minimum wage. You get my meaning here. Not everything is a result of our choices.

In Life And A Rollercoaster I talk about choices that you make in life and how to look at the situation. 

The Biblical Reasons

My God is good. He is not evil and will not put evil on us. But he does say that bad things happen to good people and he will be here to endure it with us.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

He also says that Satan was thrown back unto the earth, and he will tempt us to do his will.

girl with a bible on a dock

Revelation 12:7-10
7 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. 8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. 9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. 10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
“Now have come the salvation and the power
and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.

It is the Lord and the scripture that I tend to lean toward as the reason for hard times. I find comfort in knowing that God has my back.

These are three reasons we may have to endure hardships in life.
The reason is important, and for some of you, like me, the reason will help you to move forward.

But don’t get stuck on WHY or you won’t move forward and deal with the problem.

What Can You Do?

But what can you do to deal with the pain and suffering? How can you make it when you feel your breath stolen from you, and the times are so bad you can’t see your way out?

Right about now, you may be thinking that no one knows how you feel or how bad it is. I can say I do know how it feels to know you are in trouble, and the tunnel is so dark that you can’t see the end.

I may not know exactly how you are feeling at this moment, but I remember the nights that never felt like the sun would shine.

question marks

I can’t tell you that everything will be fine, but I can give you some strength to make it to the other end of the black tunnel to find peace and the light that will guide you.

How Do You Handle The Pain?

I am going to believe that you identify with one of the three reasons we have covered here. Each of them will give you ways to deal with your situation.

Hardcore Solution

Let’s say you identify well with the hardcore approach. You tell yourself that you just have to suck it up and get past it.

How can you do this when it seems so overwhelming?

Telling yourself to just get over it and not finding a way to do so will not solve anything. If you identify with the hardcore, then you have to look at it realistically.

You will first need to determine how dangerous the situation you are facing is? Is it life-threatening, or does it involve the safety of your children? These problems would be much different than not having enough money to buy birthday presents for your family.

Once you determine what type of problem you have, you will need to talk about it or write about it. The solution to this approach is systematic.

Write out all of your choices to solve it and choose one of them.
When faced with hard times, the solutions may not be ideal, but each one is a choice you are making to improve the problem.

If you also choose to talk about it, do so with a safe person — someone who will not repeat your situation and who will listen and not judge you.

But only talk about it until you have voiced the entire situation. Talking too much will only perpetuate the distress and make the problem appear larger than life.

Psychological solution

You may have made some wrong choices, but you are not to blame for the entire problem in your life.

Again write down what choices you made and what decisions were out of your control. Then take responsibility for your part. Do not assume the role of victim by taking responsibility for what someone did to you but only for what purpose you played in a tough time.

3d man with a red brain

You may need to get some professional help to sort through the issues. If psychological is the primary reason you have chosen, you will tend to blame yourself for everything that has happened.
Self-blame for things you did not cause is dysfunctional and may require and outside neutral person to help you sort it all out.

Biblical solution

Look up scripture on the internet or in your bible that will give you peace to push through each day. Here are a few that I have used.

John 14:26
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

And pray without stopping. Even when you don’t see the answer, God is faithful and will take care of you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

In this post God Are You There? I talk about how to forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. 

Three Solutions-One Answer

I separated all three of these reasons and solutions. But I use all of them when dealing with a life situation.

You now have the tools you need to cope with your problem. Please share with us how it all turns out. I do know there is a solution to any problem, no matter how serious it may appear. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

I have been through a life-threatening issue, the safety of my children, and times where my imagination made the problem worse than it was. I do know what all three are like, and I am here to answer questions you may have.

I can guide you and listen if you need it. I do have to be honest; I do not just listen; I do tend to give advice throughout the conversation. Please leave all comments and questions in the comments below.

P.S. If you are not a believer and do not want to use the Word of God to help you, I do understand. It is not my job to push God down your throat. It is my job to be an example and to guide you so God can do his work. 

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16 thoughts on “Why Why Why- Is My Life So Hard”

  1. Hello Laura, Thank you for writing on Why Is My Life So Hard. I have learned a lot while reading your article. I have found it very useful in dealing with hard times. You are doing fantastic work by giving people tools like these. Yes, God is doing his work, but we have to put our faith in him. Positive thinking gives us positive energy. We have to work only in a positive direction. Thank you.

    Parveen

    Reply
  2. Life is hard, and some have it harder than others. I find myself looking at the problem for what it is and buckle down and get through it. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I always conclude that giving up is not an option. So I try to get through it the best way I know how. Sometimes that’s just trying to look at the situation with optimism, or I may ask for advice, or I may only accept the part I played in it and try to move on.

    Reply
    • It sounds like you prefer the hard-core approach. This approach does work well for some. All the best to you on working through hard times. 

      Reply
  3. Hello,

    Excellent post with a lot of details.

    When we are young, we make many mistakes; or make a wrong decision. ( many times we think is the right decision). And then, life becomes so hard. Many times we can’t understand what we did wrong; it looks like everything and everybody go against us….Right?

    You gave a perfect solution to solve the wrong decisions or bad choices: write them down on the paper and take the responsibility of them. Or talk to the best friend. Or …to pray. Praying is my best solution for every wrong choice or decision. 

    Thanks again for your excellent post.

    Reply
    • You are so welcome. We do make mistakes when we are young but we also make mistakes throughout life. I am happy I can be of assistance to you in working through hard times. 

      Reply
  4. Hi Laura,

    Your article is a breath of fresh air me and for people facing hardship.

    I like that you have included the biblical references here and a good reminder that the devil is put here to tempt us.
    It is hard it times, but if we remember we are carrying the cross for him and serving him in our lives, then the sufferings – seen in that light – can be a time of growth.

    People who don’t have the perspective of the bigger picture, eternity and serving Him can miss so many of these benefits. If they just see nothing but the suffering and not the bigger picture then they miss out on so much.

    By offering hard core solutions, pshychological solutions and biblical solutions you really are offering great and varying solutions to your readers.  I found all of these solutions very helpful.

    Tnank you! 

    Reply
  5. You will never know how timely it was for me to read your post. It has come at a very troubling time in my life. I have made some very serious mistakes that I cannot undo. I have stopped making those mistakes, confessed my sins in confession to a priest and asked God for forgiveness. I feel my soul is at peace. But my actions just came back to haunt me that will cost me greatly.

    Therefore reading the scriptural excerpts were exactly what I needed to read at this point in my life. As you stated, one cannot undo the wrongs we have done. But we can forgive ourselves and lay pour fate in the hands of God. Knowing that one is at peace with our Maker is what matters in the grand scheme of life. 

    So Dear Laura, thank you for writing this piece. And I thank God that it happened to come to me almost through a Divine Plan. Keep doing the good you are doing in this website of yours. If I was touched by what you wrote, I am sure that there are many others who are as well.

    God Bless You.

    Edwin

    Reply
    • Edwin, Our God, is a good God indeed. It is comments like yours that tell me what I wrote touched you that make all the difference. 

      You are so right that you can confess and ask for forgiveness, but the consequences of the action still have to be dealt with. 

      I will pray for you to have continued peace. 

      Reply
  6. Hi Laura – long time!  It’s good to finally visit your site!  I personally lean on the Biblical Reasons.  My favorite is Proverbs 3:5-6 and if I may add a fourth solution: pray!  These give me the strength and then I can handle the Hard Core Solution.  Sometimes the only way out is through and it takes strength from Him to do it.  BTW I’ve recently started a second website: thechristianadvocate dotcom—I love for you to visit and leave a comment or two! 

    Chow!

    Reply
    • Nathaniel, it is so good to see you again. It sounds like you choose the route that I always prefer to use all three but to lean heavily on the Lord. 

      I would love to see your new site and will head over there now. 

      Reply
  7. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this.  Everyone, at one time or another, will endure challenges.  These can range from annoying or inconvenient to life-threatening.  It’s how we identify, endure and mitigate the outcomes that really matter.  Don’t get me wrong, how you got there isn’t he first place matters too.

    I’ve had money issues in my past and, even though at the time I couldn’t see past them (I lost my house to foreclosure), looking back, it was simply a trial in my life and I’m doing fine now.  Thankfully I’ve never had a physical abuse situation.  Right now my trials are dealing with my mother-in-law’s abusive (mentally and emotionally) son and her infected knee.

    To sum it up, he has been living off her his entire life and has a substance abuse issue.  He weaponized his kids when he got out of prison, threatening to take them away if he didn’t get this or that.  She raised them so…  She also had knee replacement surgery several months ago and the knee is now infected.  I’m actually writing this from the surgery waiting room, LOL.

    Enough about me.  I just wanted to show that I know where some people may be coming from.  What I really like about your post here is that you offer three categories to consider, both as potential sources of a situation as well as ways to identify and deal with them.

    I hope this post helps someone in need out.

    Thanks again,

    Scott

    Reply
    • Oh, My Scott, You are in the midst of a storm and hard times. You know I just wrote a post that I will publish in a couple of days. It is how to love unconditionally when you are rejected. I believe it would help you set some boundaries. I am going to leave a couple of posts here for you to look at that will help you. 

      I thank you so much to take the time to leave a comment. Especially when you are under immediate stress as you are now. 

      https://laura57.com/protect-your-safety-zone/ this one is about setting boundaries.

      How To Deal With A Child’s Rejection- If you go onto my website again and sign up for the email this post will send out when it is published. 

      Reply
  8. Hi Laura, because of your writing, I have realized what happened to me. I often feel my life is hard. I didn’t know what action to take to fix the problem. However, thank you very much for your writing. Because of your writing, I am stronger, and it reminds me that God is always with me. He is here to help me, support me, and strengthen me.
    Once again, thank you very muchLaura!

    Reply

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