7- Steps To Love Yourself, Building Self-Esteem

How do you love yourself? For some this is easy, but for most, it is a lifelong process of learning. I have to honestly tell you that I didn’t know how to love myself for a majority of my life. For this reason, I have put together 7 – steps to love yourself, building self-esteem.

7- Steps To Love Yourself, Building Self-Esteem

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I thought to love one’s self-was arrogant and selfish. Loving myself meant I had to put myself first and everyone else last and to me that was unthinkable. I always made sure I cared for others and sacrificed myself in the process.

It took many years for me to understand what real self-love is. People would tell me you need to take care of myself first. You need to learn to love yourself. I would always respond with “I do love myself.”

There came a time in my life when just saying “I love myself” was not enough. Nothing seemed to work for me until I understood how to accomplish loving myself.

I was sabotaging my ability to lead a happy, functional life. I was in denial because I didn’t understand how I could love myself and make everyone else feel important.

As the years moved forward and I began to learn self-love, I was more capable of loving others. I had more energy and was a healthier person because I took care of me. Now I tell people that you can’t take care of someone else unless you take care of your self first.

Here are my 7-steps to love yourself. You may find that you are working through all of them at the same time. Or you may need to do each step individually. Each person learns and grows differently.

1. Keep yourself safe

Do you live in a safe place?

I put this one as # 1 because if you are living in an unsafe environment, you are not able to care for you. Your mind and body live and breathe fear with each waking moment. In a situation such as this, you cannot work through the 7- steps to love yourself.

Break away from the place of danger. Start your journey of loving yourself by making a home that is peaceful and conducive to growth then you can work through the remaining steps.

2. Care for yourself emotionally

Do you frequently feel emotionally drained?

Emotions can be good and bad feelings. Fear and anger will trigger bad emotions and may leave you with a feeling of guilt. Guilt can give you a sense of inadequacy and poor self-esteem. You may feel you are not quite good enough for anything.

Peace and hope will trigger good emotions and will leave you with a feeling of accomplishment. A good emotion will give you a sense of well being and is the beginning of loving yourself.

If you find yourself in a place where the emotions that are triggered are fear and anger, it is time to move on. Find your place in life where you feel calm and can approach problems with peace.

3. Take care of your physical body

Are you physically exhausted all the time?

Eating healthy and exercising. I recently read something that said we need 150 minutes of exercise a week, we need to eat 9-10 vegetable a day and get 7-8 hours of sleep a night to be healthy.
Doing these things will increase the ability for your brain to think more clearly. It will build new habits and move you along on your road to follow the 7-steps to love yourself.

Walk 30 minutes 5 times a week. Load your fridge up with vegetables and go to bed early.


4. Accept yourself for who you are

Are you always wishing you looked differently?

Take a look around you. People come in all shapes and sizes. Supermodels do not look perfect all day long. They go to great lengths to look perfect on the outside. You already look perfect just the way you are.

You have made mistakes. So, has everyone else because this is a part of life. Maybe you have made some poor decisions. Your imperfect choices have made you who you are. Every single person has issues. Those who say they don’t are fooling themselves. Do not compare yourself to another but agree to accept yourself precisely as you are.

5.Think positive thoughts

Do you dwell on negative thoughts?

Keep your thoughts positive. I started to notice a real change in my ability to love myself when I began to read quotes. I would look them up on the internet every day. I read them out loud to myself as self-affirmations.

You will become your thoughts. Use productive ideas to change your life. You will soon begin to see the road to self- love, and happiness open up.

6. Show yourself compassiongirl in a spa bath

Do you find that you are harsh on yourself?

Learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. You have heard the phrase “you are your own worst enemy”? We are harder on ourselves than any other person in this world.

I know you show compassion to others. You have put other first all of your life. So use that same caring and compassion on yourself. Real compassion for yourself will help your love for others will increase.

7. Treat yourself with kindness

Do you set standards higher for yourself than you do others?

Don’t try to be perfect. No one is perfect. Take some time to relax and take a bubble bath and or read a good book. Set your priorities to care for yourself first. You will find new happiness in your life. If you don’t show yourself acts of love, you may become resentful of others.

Take your time

It will take time for you to learn these 7-steps to love yourself. Be patient, kind and compassionate toward yourself. Every day we learn and grow. Every day we evolve and become a stronger person.

Now is the time to realize that you are the flower of your life, produced as a seed by the Father above. You are beautiful and made perfect in His image. You will find happiness and self-love when you water the seed and care for yourself.

You are good enough to love yourself! Please see Finding Purpose After Retirement And Before.

Please feel free to comment or ask questions. I am here to assist you in any way I can.


10 thoughts on “7- Steps To Love Yourself, Building Self-Esteem”

  1. Hi,
    This sounds like me. I have to follow through with these kind of thoughts all the time.
    I am generally a happy person, but even I find struggles at times. Well, written.

    Positive thoughts usually are fairly easy for me. Now I do treat myself differently than others. I tend to hold myself to a much higher standard of expectation.

    I enjoyed the read.

    • Jake, I see you on twitter and yes you are a positive person. I love that about you. I like that you hold yourself to a higher standard. But be careful that you don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet it. This is where being kind to yourself comes into play. Thanks for the comment.

  2. What a great uplifting article. Number 5 is one that I always try to do my best at every single day. Thinking positive is so important because if you keep telling yourself those positive things your brain will do its best to try to achieve whatever it is that you are doing, as long as your mindset stays positive. This was a great read thank you!

  3. Hi Laura!
    Oh my gosh. I love what you wrote at the end of your post, “You are the flower of your life, produced as a seed by the Father above.”
    Absolutely beautiful, And so, so true. I’ve found the thought process especially helpful for myself. If I’m having a crappy day I just repeat positive affirmations to myself to help change my mood like, “I’m having an awesome day!”

    or ” I am blessed!”
    It really does help- along with so many of the steps that you mentioned above (like taking care of yourself)!
    Thank you!:)

    • Jennifer, you are so welcome and I so appreciate your compliment. I see that each person who reads this will take away a morsel of information they can use to brighten their life or day. This warms my heart.

  4. Hi Laura,

    I do love myself and know I’m good enough.
    I never thought to love myself until I was in my mid 20’s. I have compassion for others since I was very young, and always help especially for giving great advice.

    I read somewhere back then, how we need to love ourselves and that’s when it occurred to me then I thought about it. It made so much sense! After that, I always tell myself how special I am and how I’ve helped so many others. I pamper myself and do take care in all ways that you have mentioned. I read over your 7 steps and the only thing I have to work on is to not be so hard on myself.

    Thanks for this information, it reinforced how I am doing what we all should be. For those who aren’t, they need to realize how much life changes for the better, when we authentically take care, respect and love ourselves.


    • Patsy, you are so right. You are also very fortunate to have learned this at an early age. Many people go their whole life not knowing this. And, yes do give yourself a break. You are incredible and doing a fabulous job just being who you are.

  5. I have to tell you Laura that I am extremely impressed with your article! These are excellent thoughts that we should all be feeling. Positive thoughts can be life changing especially when you’re going through some rough negative times. After all, if we don’t treat ourselves in a positive way, how can we treat others that way? I’m going to bookmark this and read it often. Thanks for some awesome inspiration Laura! 🙂


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