HELP, A Four Letter Word

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HELP! This four letter word has many different meanings. It could mean to help someone out. To do something to make it easier for another person.  Or it could mean to lessen a problem for someone else. Or it could mean to give something to someone else or give of yourself to assist another.

But to an independent person who does things for others all the time, it could mean to be weak. To ask for help could say that they are not capable of doing it themselves.

The four letter word HELP could also mean to trust another with who you are.

A girl of 22 years old had to fend for herself all the time. When she was just four years old, she learned to make scrambled eggs over a hot stove. She had cold cereal for breakfast as long as she could remember.

One morning she was peeking around the corner wall of the kitchen and saw her mom making eggs for a man. She kept a close eye on how mom did it and the very next day while mom was still in bed she made eggs just like mom did.

Mom slept late every morning, and this little girl was not allowed to bother mom, so she had plenty of time to clean up her mess. No one ever knew she had eggs for breakfast one time every week.

When she turned seven, she stayed at home by herself after school every day. Mom never came home until way late into the night. At least once a week she was allowed a hot meal of macaroni and cheese which she made for herself.

When she turned 14, she went to school every day and worked at night at a family restaurant down the street, washing dishes. It helped mom with the bills. She did all the cleaning at home. She got home late every night and still made it to school on time each morning.

Do you see what point I am making with this story? This little girl learned very early on that helping others and taking care of herself was survival. She didn’t ask anyone else to help her. She was the helper. She was independent.

For her to ask for help would mean she was not good enough or capable of taking care of herself. She would not feel needed. She would not trust anyone else to do what she did so well.

The four letter word HELP means she does not trust anyone to hold her secrets or her heart. She is not willing to expose herself to more hurt. But in reality, she was causing herself more pain. To have another love us and hold our heart is a natural need.  It could be a mom, sister, friend or lover.

Each one of us cannot pretend to be an island. We cannot keep our walls up and protect ourselves forever.

It is better to learn to trust. It is better to turn to others and expose our secrets. If that person does not hold our hearts gently, then we learn from it and grow from it.

If we choose not to learn and grow in life, then we cannot advance and develop. You have to move forward in life. To stay stagnant is to allow yourself to die while still living.

To ask for the help of another is to open our hearts and allow healing to take place.

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