What Is A Good Friend-Bond Of Trust

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Friends are to be cherished, loved, held close and let loose.  In our society today it appears to me that we use the term friend loosely. We call social media acquaintances friends, and we refer to those close to our hearts as poem by laura, friendsfriends. What is a good friend? Friends are a bond of trust and respect.

How can you make friends?

First, I do not believe we make friends. It is like friends find us and we find them. Do you leave your house one day and say “I am going to make friends?” If so tell me how that worked for you. You probably came home no different than when you left.

Now if you said, “I am going to go to a basketball game and enjoy the game.” You went with some people you know and low and behold you met new people. With time and continued contact, you became friends. You found each other. You accomplished your goal.

Then over time, you came to trust your friend. You bonded with mutual likes and dislikes. Then you learn to love that person for their honesty and loyalty.

Only time can create a real friendship such as these. But with the technology and social media, we have misconceptions about what is a good friend.

Friends who are acquaintances

On Facebook you have friends. People you have never met and maybe never even conversed with, but they are called friends. You are led to believe that these types of relationships are lasting and fulfilling.

The friends who are the acquaintances are the ones who you have only talked to through social media. Are these friends if you have not formed a bond of trust?

I believe that in our age of technology these people can become friends. We are brought together for a while to help each other grow. We may talk one time and then again a few months later. But if you converse enough to get to know one another, then social media friends can grow into a real friendship.

What is a good friend?

Often words are used but not understood. I like to use a definition to help increase the understanding of what a word means. We will look at the term friend in the dictionary.

According to the dictionary
Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

According to the urban dictionary
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

These definitions lead us to think about our friends and what is a good friend.

Friends who go

As we go through life, we have friendships. Unlike the friends in the above two paragraphs, some friends bond for a short time. I find this to be true all of my life. I have had many friends come to my home, sit on my deck and talk a few times and then never come again.

I use to wonder why someone would like me and want to spend time with me and then get to busy to include me in their life. I use to wonder what I did wrong.

We had built a bond of trust and respect for one another, but we grew apart. We did not connect long enough to determine what a good friend is. Were we friends for life or just passing by?

As I grew in wisdom, I realized that every person who comes into our lives is here for one or both of you to grow and learn. This type of friend can be considered friends who go.

Friends who never go awaya collage of friends

My husband and I recently returned from a vacation in Mexico. We go there every year for the past 13 years to enjoy a break from the winter weather.

For the past five years, a couple who are our friends has gone with us and oh do we have fun. We laugh, live, eat, lay on the beach and yes, we also drink. We pick at each other, compliment each other, respect each other and tell stories.

What is a good friend? Are we best friends for life or a passing season.

We have a mutual affection for each other. We have a bond of trust, and we love each other.

These are the kind of friendships that last a lifetime because it is the good and bad that we see in each other that bonds us together. We learn to overlook the bad and grow in a positive, happy light.

Friends, who stay?

We as people also have life long friends. In high school, a girlfriend and I were inseparable for many years. But when we began to build our families, we lost touch with each other. We talked a few times over the years, but life got in the way. So, we never got together or spent time with each other.

A few months back we got together by accident and went out to dinner. When we began to talk and spend time together, it was as if we had never been away from each other. Out hearts continued to understand and respect one another.

At our age now we are no longer inseparable. We live separately and lead different lives, but the bond will never go away. We picked up where we left off 30 years ago.

I also have a friend who I have never met in a different country. When we met at Wealthy Affiliate platform, we knew we were alike. The bond we built has been talking, sharing and learning to trust one another.

All of the friendships you will build that will have the same qualities of mutual affection, bond of trust, respect, and loyalty.

When I was younger, I needed friends. I felt the more friends I had the better I was. In high school, we learn that to be popular is to be sought after. Crowd-pleasing people have many friends. Or do they because what is a good friend?

Is this just like social media where high school popularity is the same as friends who are acquaintances? They do not have the bonding, respect, trust, and loyalty that a real friendship exhibit.

A handful of friends

I have built a handful of loving caring friends over the years. It has taken maturity to realize that a few friends with a bond of trust, respect, loyalty, love, and honesty are the real treasure of life. These few friends have helped me define what is a good friend.

Acquaintances have never bonded and grown, so their friendship will not stand the test of time.

Friends who go began to grow and have created a bond that each will always remember. But their friendship was short and for a time.

The friends who never go away can begin at an early age or later in life. These are the ones who you may not see or talk to for months or years. When you do come back together the bond in is strong with loyalty. Friends such as these have a mutual affection and ties to one another that will not break with time.

And the friends who stay are like family. They always understand the others and accept them for exactly who they are. They don’t try to change each other into something that fits their beliefs. They take the ups and downs and grow to love and cherish the gift of friendship.

I dedicate this post to mine and my husbands’ friends. Those who never go that we may cherish each moment and those who stay and our hearts become entwined forever. We embrace the glory of the blessing we receive.

Please feel free to share your experiences with us. I do love hearing from you. Leave comments and questions in the comment section below. I will be back with you shortly.

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14 thoughts on “What Is A Good Friend-Bond Of Trust”

  1. I would have to agree that the term is very loosely extended to just about everyone, these days. For example, I haven’t dated in years, but I can remember a time or two when a girl I was interested in described me as a “friend” when we were most definitely more than that. That can create a lot of confusion for someone else who probably wouldn’t pursue said person, if they knew the true nature of their relationship with someone else. I’ve also been described as a “friend” by acquaintances who had no problem stabbing me in the back later, in a manner no true friend would ever dream of doing. So the way I see it, I have only one true friend who always has my back, despite occasional disagreements – and a whole lot of other acquaintances that like to call themselves friends. Anyhow, thanks for sharing! This gave me a lot to think about.

    • Yes, many will call us a friend but it is up to us to determine who is a true friend and who is just an acquaintance. A few very close friends are a blessing indeed. You are welcome. Thanks for stopping by. 

  2. In my opinion, one don’t need a ton of friends, you only need a few that truly care about you and those who will always be there when you need them. I used to have connections with far too many ‘friends’ when I was in my high school but those connections were weak and we don’t really talk to each other anymore once we graduated. It was at that time I realized the importance of keeping in touch with some true friends. I am fortunate enough to have friends that still be in touch and hang out even after so many years that we are all working now. It is the quality that matters, not quantity. Thank you for bringing up the topic and I look forward to more posts from you.

    • Jayden, yes it is the quality and not the quantity. It is rare to have friends who are life long from high school. I am blessed. But it sounds like you are also because you understand what a friend is. I will be posting many more. Stay tuned. 

  3. I’ve never been friends with anyone for more than 2-3 years, they always eventually disappear one way or another. Usually I meet these friends from work or at school. I do agree that these friends who go are there to provide an opportunity to learn and grow. These friends has taught me about myself, the world around me, how to build character like honesty and loyalty, among other things. I can count on one hand how many “friends to stay” I have, probably my mother and that’s about it. Thanks for the article.

    • It sounds like you may still be young. As you grow older there is more opportunity to build long-lasting relationships. It develops with time. And it sounds like you are choosing the right kind of friends if you learn honesty and loyalty from these relationships. Time will create many things. 

  4. Hi Laura

    This is a lovely post. With today’s ‘connected’ world, we certainly seem more dis-connected than ever. The idea of friends simply as a list of people you know (or maybe don’t know but they’re on the list) seems very troubling.

    I would expect that it’s similar to the click-triggered adrenaline rush people get when someone ‘likes’ their video on YouTube or your post on Facebook. 

    I, for one, am proud that I don’t have many friends, but they are GREAT ones. The Best Man at my wedding is great example. We don’t talk often, but when we do we seem to pick up right where we left off. It’s awesome.

    Great post!

    Cheers,

    Dave

    • Thank you so much, Dave. It is like the young guy who left me a comment. I am not sure that all people know how to build a lasting friendship. I hope they find my article and can learn from it. 

      Your best man friendship sounds like the girl I went to high school with. We also picked up right where we left off. It is an incredible feeling. 

  5. Really well said. I like how you separated friends from acquaintances. And as you mentioned, a friend is much more than someone who you only spoke to for a couple of times (or less).

    I know friends are hard to make, but when you do, they are worth all the effort you put, and definitely worth more than all those acquaintances you meet in your life.

  6. Hello Laura, great post and I wholeheartedly agree with your post. I’ve made lots of “friends” on Facebook but it’s not the same as having a friend you can ultimately confide in time in and time out. I think social media sometimes dilutes our understanding of the word friend.

    I’ve made lots of friends during my last 18 years in the military and some of whom I consider family. They’ve been there for me during difficult and good times. Many of my friends are people whom I’ve spent time in combat with and consider them brothers for life.
    Thanks for allowing me to comment on your post.

    • You are very fortunate indeed to have made friends in the military. In your circumstances you each had to build a bond of trust and loyalty that ultimately led to mutual affection. I would imagine your lives depended on this. You will without a doubt have friends for life. Thank you for taking the time to comment. And thank you for your service.

  7. Hi Laura
    You are my friend and I feel so blessed to know you and Yes we are alike and yet different. So cool 🙂
    My Mother used to tell me when I was small that if I grew up with only friends I could count on 1 hand I would we blessed because this is how it is.
    As a young person, I didn’t understand this. Like you, I thought to have heaps of friends were important but now at 60 I know my true friends are few and I cherish them
    This is such a wonderful post
    Thank you, my friend.

    • Vicki, I too am blessed to call you my friend. I also thought that to have a bunch of friends was the thing to do. But now at the age of 62, I see that a handful of friends is a true blessing.
      Love and Hugs my friend.

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