Friends are to be cherished, loved, held close and let loose. In our society today it appears to me that we use the term friend loosely. We call social media acquaintances friends, and we refer to those close to our hearts as friends. What is a good friend? Friends are a bond of trust and respect.
How can you make friends?
First, I do not believe we make friends. It is like friends find us and we find them. Do you leave your house one day and say “I am going to make friends?” If so tell me how that worked for you. You probably came home no different than when you left.
Now if you said, “I am going to go to a basketball game and enjoy the game.” You went with some people you know and low and behold you met new people. With time and continued contact, you became friends. You found each other. You accomplished your goal.
Then over time, you came to trust your friend. You bonded with mutual likes and dislikes. Then you learn to love that person for their honesty and loyalty.
Only time can create a real friendship such as these. But with the technology and social media, we have misconceptions about what is a good friend.
Friends who are acquaintances
On Facebook you have friends. People you have never met and maybe never even conversed with, but they are called friends. You are led to believe that these types of relationships are lasting and fulfilling.
The friends who are the acquaintances are the ones who you have only talked to through social media. Are these friends if you have not formed a bond of trust?
I believe that in our age of technology these people can become friends. We are brought together for a while to help each other grow. We may talk one time and then again a few months later. But if you converse enough to get to know one another, then social media friends can grow into a real friendship.
What is a good friend?
Often words are used but not understood. I like to use a definition to help increase the understanding of what a word means. We will look at the term friend in the dictionary.
According to the dictionary
Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
According to the urban dictionary
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
These definitions lead us to think about our friends and what is a good friend.
Friends who go
As we go through life, we have friendships. Unlike the friends in the above two paragraphs, some friends bond for a short time. I find this to be true all of my life. I have had many friends come to my home, sit on my deck and talk a few times and then never come again.
I use to wonder why someone would like me and want to spend time with me and then get to busy to include me in their life. I use to wonder what I did wrong.
We had built a bond of trust and respect for one another, but we grew apart. We did not connect long enough to determine what a good friend is. Were we friends for life or just passing by?
As I grew in wisdom, I realized that every person who comes into our lives is here for one or both of you to grow and learn. This type of friend can be considered friends who go.
Friends who never go away
My husband and I recently returned from a vacation in Mexico. We go there every year for the past 13 years to enjoy a break from the winter weather.
For the past five years, a couple who are our friends has gone with us and oh do we have fun. We laugh, live, eat, lay on the beach and yes, we also drink. We pick at each other, compliment each other, respect each other and tell stories.
What is a good friend? Are we best friends for life or a passing season.
We have a mutual affection for each other. We have a bond of trust, and we love each other.
These are the kind of friendships that last a lifetime because it is the good and bad that we see in each other that bonds us together. We learn to overlook the bad and grow in a positive, happy light.
Friends, who stay?
We as people also have life long friends. In high school, a girlfriend and I were inseparable for many years. But when we began to build our families, we lost touch with each other. We talked a few times over the years, but life got in the way. So, we never got together or spent time with each other.
A few months back we got together by accident and went out to dinner. When we began to talk and spend time together, it was as if we had never been away from each other. Out hearts continued to understand and respect one another.
At our age now we are no longer inseparable. We live separately and lead different lives, but the bond will never go away. We picked up where we left off 30 years ago.
I also have a friend who I have never met in a different country. When we met at Wealthy Affiliate platform, we knew we were alike. The bond we built has been talking, sharing and learning to trust one another.
All of the friendships you will build that will have the same qualities of mutual affection, bond of trust, respect, and loyalty.
When I was younger, I needed friends. I felt the more friends I had the better I was. In high school, we learn that to be popular is to be sought after. Crowd-pleasing people have many friends. Or do they because what is a good friend?
Is this just like social media where high school popularity is the same as friends who are acquaintances? They do not have the bonding, respect, trust, and loyalty that a real friendship exhibit.
A handful of friends
I have built a handful of loving caring friends over the years. It has taken maturity to realize that a few friends with a bond of trust, respect, loyalty, love, and honesty are the real treasure of life. These few friends have helped me define what is a good friend.
Acquaintances have never bonded and grown, so their friendship will not stand the test of time.
Friends who go began to grow and have created a bond that each will always remember. But their friendship was short and for a time.
The friends who never go away can begin at an early age or later in life. These are the ones who you may not see or talk to for months or years. When you do come back together the bond in is strong with loyalty. Friends such as these have a mutual affection and ties to one another that will not break with time.
And the friends who stay are like family. They always understand the others and accept them for exactly who they are. They don’t try to change each other into something that fits their beliefs. They take the ups and downs and grow to love and cherish the gift of friendship.
I dedicate this post to mine and my husbands’ friends. Those who never go that we may cherish each moment and those who stay and our hearts become entwined forever. We embrace the glory of the blessing we receive.
Please feel free to share your experiences with us. I do love hearing from you. Leave comments and questions in the comment section below. I will be back with you shortly.