When I write a poem and set down to write a post about it, I always think “where do I start?” On a good day that thought is fleeting, but on a rough day I may sit and ponder this thought for a long time. Because of this, I started thinking about positive and negative thoughts. Are you a positive or negative person in hard times?
For two weeks I have had a writer’s block and didn’t even have a poem coming out of me. For any of you who are writers, I am sure you know what I mean. For those of you who do not write much, it is like crawling out of bed in the morning when you are not awake enough to know where you want to go first. You wander around in a daze trying to figure out what day it is.
Today when I decided I had to write a poem I sat down and thought about why I couldn’t write. This poem came out, and I realized it is because I had given up my positive mindset. I was focusing on negative thoughts instead of what my blessings are.
Focus is good
Just how on earth do you keep a positive mind when life is tough. When the rain is pouring down on your world how can you have good thoughts? Instead, you tend to focus on the problem and worry about how you can get past it.
I remember life as a single mom with two kids. Some of you may have more than two kiddos, and you are the only one bringing home money. My kids were young when I became a single mom. Not only was I single but I spent most of my time protecting them from an evil person who was in our lives.
I was a cynical person back then. I know now that if I could have learned and tapped into the positive side of life our times could have been easier. I wouldn’t have had more money or more time, but my outlook would have changed the decisions I made. I am here today to help you improve your mindset so your life can be more manageable.
How to change your thoughts
Are you a positive or negative person when you are in pain? You may think that your life is unique and you have the right to be negative. I do understand ideas like these because I too had that feeling. But in reality, I was making excuses for my self to hang onto anger and pain.
1. Let go
The first step to a positive mind is to let go of your right to be angry. Staying angry helps to keep you from allowing more pain into your life. It is the same as building a wall to keep the world out. But no matter what you do you will have more pain in life because this is how we learn and grow.
Permit yourself to be angry. Set a time limit on it like one hour or 3 days. Be as mad as you can without harming yourself more but stop when your time limit is up. When you do this, you are acknowledging that you are angry, that you have the right, but you will not let hatred destroy you. When your time is up let it go and make your mind smile.
2. Make your mind smile
To make your mind smile sounds like a strange thing to do but I can tell you it works. First, make yourself smile even if you don’t feel like it. Put a forced smile on your face. It is an incredible feeling how this forced smile will permeate your whole body.
Let your body relax with meditation or prayer and let peace flow through your soul. Focus on happy words or happy thoughts. If you can’t think of anything happy, then write down a few words that are happy and positive and read them over and over as you relax. Your mind will begin to smile.
3. Purge self-defeating thoughts from your mind
I think back on when my kids were small and times were unbearably hard. I would wake up and go to sleep with ideas of what if this happens or what if, and those thoughts were always self-defeating. I would play scenarios out in my head numerous times a day. Are you a positive or negative person and do you play negative situations over and over in your head? You can overcome the negative mindset with a positive thought process.
Today I have followed these three steps and know how to replace the negative with positive when times are difficult. I now know how harmful negative thoughts and negative scenarios are.
Let’s say your three-year-old wants to wear a frilly sundress to school when it is snowing outside. You find your daughter laying on the floor screaming and throwing a fit because you said no. You finally give in because you are already 10 minutes late for work. All day long you worry that the school will report you for child neglect. The scenario you play in your head is when you get to daycare, they will tell you that you are a terrible mom and family services have been called to do a home study for the safety of your children.
These are self-defeating thoughts. You were so worried you couldn’t do your work. You are a good mom, and the school deals with this all the time, so all you did was to wear yourself out.
Instead of dwelling on the negative that could happen you can play a different story in your head. Make up a funny story that will make you laugh or remind your self that a strong constitution will make your daughter a strong woman someday. Use your imagination in any situation to change your thoughts to something that will make you smile or laugh. Don’t take life so seriously.
Why only three suggestions
How often do you read ways to improve your life and there are 7-10 things listed to help? By the time you get to number five, you are exhausted trying to remember the first one. I gave you three strong suggestions to change any situation. The three items I listed are exactly how I broke my writer’s block.
I was placing my focus on hanging onto self-pity, making sure I didn’t smile or become happy and sabotaging any positive thoughts. When I decided to change my mind, I recognized the self-pity then I gave myself one hour to feel utterly sorry for myself then I let it go and moved on. Then I forced a smile on my face, prayed for peace and felt it run through me. Then I changed my thinking from negative scenarios to funny stories that made me laugh. Now I am back to my previous positive self.
It doesn’t matter what tough situation you may be in if you stay negative you will never be happy. But if you follow these steps, you can change your circumstances from within yourself. Your situation may remain the same but the way you view it will change.
Have you experience a negative thought process in hard times. Has this process threatened to take your peace away? Please share with us any situations you have faced. I am here to help in any way I can so please leave a comment, and I will be back with you shortly.