Are You A Positive Or Negative Person?

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When I write a poem and set down to write a post about it, I always think “where do I start?” On a good day that thought is fleeting, but on a rough day I may sit and ponder this thought for a long time. Because of this, I started thinking about positive and negative thoughts. Are you a positive or negative person in hard times?

For two weeks I have had a writer’s block and didn’t even have a poem coming out of me. For any of you who are red rose on black background

writers, I am sure you know what I mean. For those of you who do not write much, it is like crawling out of bed in the morning when you are not awake enough to know where you want to go first. You wander around in a daze trying to figure out what day it is.

Today when I decided I had to write a poem I sat down and thought about why I couldn’t write. This poem came out, and I realized it is because I had given up my positive mindset. I was focusing on negative thoughts instead of what my blessings are.

Focus is good 

Just how on earth do you keep a positive mind when life is tough. When the rain is pouring down on your world how can you have good thoughts? Instead, you tend to focus on the problem and worry about how you can get past it.

I remember life as a single mom with two kids. Some of you may have more than two kiddos, and you are the only one bringing home money. My kids were young when I became a single mom. Not only was I single but I spent most of my time protecting them from an evil person who was in our lives.

I was a cynical person back then. I know now that if I could have learned and tapped into the positive side of life our times could have been easier. I wouldn’t have had more money or more time, but my outlook would have changed the decisions I made. I am here today to help you improve your mindset so your life can be more manageable.

 

How to change your thoughts

Are you a positive or negative person when you are in pain? You may think that your life is unique and you have the right to be negative. I do understand ideas like these because I too had that feeling. But in reality, I was making excuses for my self to hang onto anger and pain.

1. Let go

The first step to a positive mind is to let go of your right to be angry. Staying angry helps to keep you from allowing yellow unhappy smiley face

more pain into your life. It is the same as building a wall to keep the world out. But no matter what you do you will have more pain in life because this is how we learn and grow.

Permit yourself to be angry. Set a time limit on it like one hour or 3 days. Be as mad as you can without harming yourself more but stop when your time limit is up. When you do this, you are acknowledging that you are angry, that you have the right, but you will not let hatred destroy you. When your time is up let it go and make your mind smile.

2. Make your mind smile

To make your mind smile sounds like a strange thing to do but I can tell you it works. First, make yourself smile evenstick figure girl in red dress

if you don’t feel like it. Put a forced smile on your face. It is an incredible feeling how this forced smile will permeate your whole body.

Let your body relax with meditation or prayer and let peace flow through your soul. Focus on happy words or happy thoughts. If you can’t think of anything happy, then write down a few words that are happy and positive and read them over and over as you relax. Your mind will begin to smile.


 

3. Purge self-defeating thoughts from your mind

I think back on when my kids were small and times were unbearably hard. I would wake up and go to sleep with ideas of what if this happens or what if, and those thoughts were always self-defeating. I would play scenarios out in my head numerous times a day. Are you a positive or negative person and do you play negative situations over and over in your head? You can overcome the negative mindset with a positive thought process.are you a positive or negative person happy face

Today I have followed these three steps and know how to replace the negative with positive when times are difficult. I now know how harmful negative thoughts and negative scenarios are.

Let’s say your three-year-old wants to wear a frilly sundress to school when it is snowing outside. You find your daughter laying on the floor screaming and throwing a fit because you said no. You finally give in because you are already 10 minutes late for work. All day long you worry that the school will report you for child neglect. The scenario you play in your head is when you get to daycare, they will tell you that you are a terrible mom and family services have been called to do a home study for the safety of your children.

These are self-defeating thoughts. You were so worried you couldn’t do your work. You are a good mom, and the school deals with this all the time, so all you did was to wear yourself out.

Instead of dwelling on the negative that could happen you can play a different story in your head. Make up a funny story that will make you laugh or remind your self that a strong constitution will make your daughter a strong woman someday. Use your imagination in any situation to change your thoughts to something that will make you smile or laugh. Don’t take life so seriously.

Why only three suggestions

How often do you read ways to improve your life and there are 7-10 things listed to help? By the time you get to number five, you are exhausted trying to remember the first one. I gave you three strong suggestions to change any situation. The three items I listed are exactly how I broke my writer’s block.

I was placing my focus on hanging onto self-pity, making sure I didn’t smile or become happy and sabotaging any positive thoughts. When I decided to change my mind, I recognized the self-pity then I gave myself one hour to feel utterly sorry for myself then I let it go and moved on. Then I forced a smile on my face, prayed for peace and felt it run through me. Then I changed my thinking from negative scenarios to funny stories that made me laugh. Now I am back to my previous positive self.

It doesn’t matter what tough situation you may be in if you stay negative you will never be happy. But if you follow these steps, you can change your circumstances from within yourself. Your situation may remain the same but the way you view it will change.

Have you experience a negative thought process in hard times. Has this process threatened to take your peace away? Please share with us any situations you have faced. I am here to help in any way I can so please leave a comment, and I will be back with you shortly.

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14 thoughts on “Are You A Positive Or Negative Person?”

  1. Laura, I love your layout: A poem and then an inspiring post about it. It’s a very nice idea. I think your posts would be helpful to many people. I’ll ask the universe to send you lots of readers, as there is good reason for many to read your messages. Keep up the good work — it is never bad to remind people how to get in a better space than they are in at present. Switching negative to positive — a skill that we all need to learn well.

  2. Enjoyed the blog. I will put it in practice. I am inclined to worry about things I do not have any control over. When I don’t have any CBD I will wake up in the middle of the night and worry about the current troublesome situation. To counter act this I have started counting backward from 1,000. In my mind I think one thousand, nine hundred ninety nine, nine hundred ninety eight, nine hundred ninety seven etc. I concentrate on the count and do not allow the negative thought interfere. Usually by the time I get to nine hundred forty I have drop off to sleep. However, sometimes I have to count until eight hundred forty. LOL Depends on how bad the negative though is.

    I enjoy your thoughts!!!

    • Ray, this is a great idea to count backward but I’m not sure I would start at 1000. LOL. The counting occupies the thoughts and pushes out the negative. My mom always said, “If you can’t change it there is no use getting excited over it.” It is true but so hard for most of us to follow.
      Thank you for taking the time to read this post and comment. I value your support and input and I appreciate you.

      Laura

  3. This is powerful information. So many people stay in a negative frame of mind and do not realize how much that holds them back from success. You post gives great suggestions to use to get past the “writers block” and many other aspects of everyday life. Your tip about setting a time limit on anger is interesting. I think, if put into practice, this will be a powerful tool for myself and others that tend to hold a grudge way too long!

    Have you found this to work for you very well?

    • Thank you Dave I am so happy you have found great value in the suggestions I set forth. 

      And yes to your question. I use this technique of a time limit on emotions all the time. I tend to dwell on problems and when I give myself a time limit I am giving myself permission to feel the way I need, but not to go overboard. I have also found that when I validate my feelings with a time frame I don’t feel guilty for taking time to have emotions. 

      I would recommend this technique to anyone and everyone. 

  4. I like to say that I am not a negative person, and that I’m just realistic and logical.

    Sometimes a little pessimistic, only if I know how things turn out. I have been thinking tons more positively in the past year or so now that I have a plan for the future instead of going with the flow as I’ve always done.

    I don’t really like the feeling of anger, and I try to let it go as soon as it hits me, that’s if it does, because I’m a pretty patient person, but I digress.

    • Ty, This is a good point you brought up about being realistic and logical. I wrote a post about is being positive a form of denial. I will leave the link at the end of my reply. 

      I am so happy you have found your way in life and are more positive. Good precedes good in all things. 

      https://laura57.com/positive-t

  5. beautifully written article. These tips are so honest and true as well. I remember the “forced smile” trick from my therapist. And it really works! Letting go is also a tough one, I’ll be honest, but when you do you feel so much better and you can move on with your life. Thank you so much for this! I often try meditation and exercise too. I’ve heard that CBD oil  may help with depression too. Do you know if it does?

    • Hi Sydney, These tips are not easy to follow all the time but they will change a persons life. I too love the forced smile as it has worked for me numerous times. Thank you for stopping by. 

      Yes I use CBD oil and I find it helps lessen my winter (SAD) depression. It is also good for so many other physical issues one of the big ones is arthritis type aches and pains. I would recommend it to everyone. 

  6. Hi Laura
    I remember a time in my life when I found out I had to have brain surgery to save my life and the surgery was a serious one
    At 1st I was in shock, then some fear set in and then I looked in the mirror and said” you got this girl, you are not ready to go anywhere” and with all the faith hope and love I had inside me I truly believed all would be ok and when I told my kids what was happening I remember making light of it for them so they knew I was ok and this would help them be ok too
    The power of our minds is incredible and we can also turn a negative into a positive and shine a light so people will smile and be warm
    I even write a silly ditty from an old son “I got rysym, aneurysm, instead of I got rhythm lots of rhythm and it made me laugh 🙂

    • Hi Vicki,
      I can only imagine how difficult that must have been. I do believe your positive mindset helped to carry you through this possibly devastating situation. Thank you so much for sharing with us this personal moment. Our mind can make or break us in life.

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