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I often talk about how we all have a choice. Some people have more difficult decisions to make in life, and they work with fewer options. But we all have a choice how we will act, react and live our lives.
This poem came about when I met a man who would always say “I have so much rage and hatred inside of me” and he would tell me it was because of what his parents did to him when he was young. He was young 60 years ago. That is a lot of years to hang onto rage and anger. And he chose to hold it tight to his heart.
My life, my choice
I am sure you have heard people say it’s my life, my choice and this is undoubtedly a true statement. You can do whatever you want with your life, and you can make the decisions you choose. But does that mean it is right for you and will help you lead a happy life? NO, it does not!
There are many people like the guy that I met and talked about in the paragraph above. You know the one who always talks about his upbringing of 60 years ago. He has every right to hang onto the memories, anger, and rage that was caused by his poor upbringing. After all, he has done this and has lived a long life.
What kind of life do you think he has had? I don’t know for sure, but I believe that anyone who chooses to hang onto negative and bitter thoughts will be unhappy. They may have good moments but most of their years will be a nagging ache in their soul.
On the flip side, I know people who have been in similar horrible upbringings and have chosen to work through it and move forward in life. These people had to work very hard to overcome and to learn new positive coping skills. And they could say the same thing, my life, my choice. But they made a very different decision to improve. Do you think they are happy all the time? No, probably not but their life has more ups than downs.
You Have a choice!
In both of these types of situations, people choose how they want to feel. You can make a choice also. Will, you choose to lift yourself up and be lifted up with positive thoughts and actions?
I am sure you have heard the quote by William Shakespeare, “The Eyes are the window to your soul.”
Your eyes see what is before you. Your inner self the core of your heart picks up what the eyes see. And your mind acts and reacts on how your soul interprets it. Ultimately what you allow your eyes and mind to think and understand is what will affect your soul.
Let me explain this further;
When you are hurt, it makes you angry. As the anger grows you can only see negative through your eyes and this negative begins to permeate your soul. In your mind, you become more enraged which causes more harm to yourself. You then believe you are justified in your rage because you are hurting inside.
Or your other choice may be, you are hurt and angry. You know to hold a grudge harbors negative thoughts. You also know that to surround yourself with negativity will produce more anger and pain. You have every right to be angry or in shock after what has happened to you. But you choose to see the good in life. You decide to forgive and find gratitude all around you.
As you forgive your eyes see a brighter day and more positive surroundings. The positive permeates your soul, and your thoughts take on a new level of awareness for what is right in your life. Your healing process has begun.
Which choice is easier?
Which one of these two choices do you think is easier in the beginning. Yes, the anger and negative thought process is much more comfortable. It will get more attention. It will help you justify your actions, and you will feel more vindicated.
But wait a minute, which one of these two choices, negative or positive, is a better choice for you in the long run or the end. The positive. It takes more work to look for good when you are in pain. It is an effort to turn your grudgeful heart into a forgiving soul. No one feels sorry for you because you appear at peace.
Someone hurt you, and you can’t get back at them if you choose the positive reflection of your eyes on your soul. If you let go of the pain, no one will pay for the horrible things that have happened to you. But to make another pay for the actions they took against you makes you just like them.
When you forgive you are doing it so you can move forward. When you forgive you are not telling the other person that what they did was OK. It was not okay for someone to destroy your life, but they chose to do this. And if you decide to get revenge, you are killing yourself as much if not more than they have already done.
Your rage and anger will begin to seep into every crack of your life until you become just like the person who hurt you.
How do you make a positive choice?
Now, this is a million dollar question because there is no iron clad way to accomplish this task. It is a life long endeavor to for you to grow and learn. It is a continuous and repeated process of revisiting the reason you want to forgive.
Right about now you may be thinking “don’t tell me what to do, my life my choice” and this is a true statement. To change your life into a positive one is hard work but I know you can do it because I am living proof.
Let me give you a few tips to help you with life-changing choices.
You can not accomplish forgiveness and an option to be happy without the help of someone much stronger than you.
2. Write it down
Keep a list of why your choice will benefit you. It softens your heart, heals your soul, sets you free and allows you to move on. It is for you and not for the other person.
3. Wash your mind
Continually keep your mind on thoughts of positive words, quotes, and sayings. Negative is so easy to do but to stay positive; you have to work at it every day until it reaches your soul and changes you thought process.
4. Let it go
Let go of your right to hurt another for your pain. Someone harmed you, but if you hang onto it, they will continue to cause you suffering from the memories.
Only you can make the choice.
You can make choices at every turn and in every avenue in your life. When you say my life, my choices I urge you to take the higher road and decide to be an overcomer. Be positive!
Will you choose to put on a smile, see the good in life to reach your soul and change your thoughts? The choice is yours, and only you can make it happen. Only you can choose peace that will overcome the raging violent storms.
Only you can heal and grow from horrible situations you have experienced. No one can do it for you, and no one can force you to do it. It is a choice!